Sunday, February 2, 2014

Friday, January 31, 2014


An extremely belated Happy New Year!  I know... it's almost February!

GO HAWKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry... Had to do it!!!

We had a wonderful, blessed holiday season.  After so many years of having our holidays hijacked by youngest daughter's drama, it was so nice to be able to celebrate with no drama! 
I've seen quite a few blogs where the author has picked a word or phrase for the year.  I wasn't planning to do that, but it seems that a word has picked me.
Change can be a good thing.
Youngest daughter is now almost 6 months clean, and is living in a clean and sober house.  The best change I could ask for.
Oldest daughter got a kindergarten teaching job and moved out.
Husband has new responsibilities at work, and as a result, we don't have to worry about being transferred out of state.

Sometimes changes just happen, and sometimes, they're planned.
We're planning a big one.
Husband and I made the decision to put our house on the market and move.  There are several reasons for this.  We now have an empty nest, and don't need a big house.  We realized over the holidays that stairs are becoming an issue for several members of our extended family.  Most importantly, we want to get away from the influences that led our daughter into addiction. 

We live in a small town that has a major drug problem.  A few years ago, Rolling Stone magazine described it as "Methville, USA."  In the last few years, my daughter was beat up several times.  She has drug-using/dealing boyfriends who still live here.  My husband has been threatened with bodily harm three times.  If youngest daughter needed to move back in with us for health reasons, we would be afraid for both her, and our own, safety.  Yes, I'm aware that no place is without problems, and moving won't provide any magic solutions.  But it's time for a fresh start.

A fresh start is also what I want to bring to my little blog.

If you read my blog, it's me sharing my heart. My original idea was that it would be about my youngest daughter's journey toward a liver transplant (shameless plug here- be an organ donor!).  However, much of it turned into dealing with her drug addiction, which I never intended.  I really am a nice, friendly fun person!  I am pledging to try to keep the rants at a minimum from here on out.  I love crafts, vintage things, and romantic/shabby chic decorating, though there are so many blogs out there that are much better at that, than I ever hope to be.  I want to have fun stuff, thoughts insights and a few laughs. 
 My life is still stressed, but it's also blessed.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Merry Christmas

Isaiah 9:6
For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.
 I wish you all a Merry and Blessed Christmas.

Monday, October 28, 2013

What a difference a year makes

Well, here I didn't just neglect my blog...I totally ignored it!

At this point, I don't know if there's still anyone out there or not.  If you're reading  this, thank you for sticking around.

The title of this post really says it all.

When I last posted, my youngest daughter was in jail.  She was released six weeks later, on New Year's eve.  While in jail, she got clean, and we hoped that she would stay that way.

Didn't happen.

We had two or three weeks of "normal" family life until she started using again. She dumped her boyfriend, who was going to drug rehab, and immediately hooked up with another drug user.  When we found out, we had no choice but to kick her out of the house.  She moved in with the new guy, and three weeks later, announced that they were engaged and wanted to get married in August!  This guy has two kids, a near violent temper, was extremely possessive, bipolar and "heard voices", not to mention being an addict.  Obviously, we did NOT approve!  On top of this, she told me that she had been pregnant when she went to jail with the old boyfriend's baby and had a miscarriage.

The months between January and August...I don't know how else to describe other than she put us through hell.  That's not a word I use often, but that's what it was.  She and the "fiance" bummed around at various friends houses, and ended up living in a tent.  My husband and I were constantly arguing, as he cut off all communication with her and shut down emotionally where she was concerned.

Finally, in August, after many sessions of crying, swearing and screaming (and that was just me), I remember telling her that she had to go to rehab, because I just couldn't deal with all of this anymore.  She agreed.


I still don't know all of the reasons she came to that decision.  All I know for sure is that she realized that she was disgusted with what she had become.

Long story short, we got her into treatment.  She completed rehab, and is living in a clean and sober house about 2 hours away from us.  She chose that location to make a clean break with her old life.  She has to drug test every week and be accountable.  She dumped her boyfriend (insert "Hallelujah Chorus" here) because he refused to get clean. 

Most importantly, she's finding her way back to God.

Yes, I know that this could change in a moment.  But right now, I can go to sleep and not wonder where she is and if she's safe.  I don't have to worry everyday that I'm going to get a phone call from the police or the hospital.  You have no idea how good that feels.

For those of you who prayed, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul.  We're seeing answers now.


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Giving Thanks when it's hard

The frozen fruit salad is in the freezer, and I'm going to make the green bean casserole in a few minutes.  My sister is hosting this year, so I don't have to do the turkey (insert sigh of relief here).
But I have a heavy heart this Thanksgiving.  Youngest daughter won't be there.  She's in jail.
Yes, she was supposed to be on house arrest.  However, she made the decision to not attend the screening interview, which was part of the conditions.  It turns out that she skipped it because she was either high, or had used drugs recently enough to show up on the drug test.  That automatically revoked the house arrest, and even if it hadn't, we would not have her in the house if she's been using drugs.  For a girl who said she never wanted to go to jail again, she sure didn't act like it.
I had to take her to report at the jail on Monday.  Next to losing my mom and dad, it was one of the hardest things I've had to do.  It's an awful feeling to see your child disappear behind that heavy door, and to know that you've tried everything you possibly could do, and the only thing left to do is pray.
Even so...
I'm thankful.
She's in a place that is nearby, so we can visit.
She has access to help.
She'll only be there 6-9 weeks.
She'll have time to think about what kind of a person she wants to be after this.
She'll be away from her boyfriend (we liked him at first, probably because he wasn't a drug user/dealer, but he turned out to be a major con artist).
I have a great support team of family, friends and church.
God has promised that He will never leave me or forsake me.
I'm learning about the "hard" thanks.  The ones that you don't want to say, but do anyway.  It's not an easy lesson, but...
I think it will be worth it.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

An early Christmas gift

A couple of weeks ago, my sister and I had our long-belated birthday lunch together.  We both have July birthdays, but due to schedules and unexpected events, we hadn't been able to find a time that worked for us.

After we exchanged our birthday gifts, my sister announced that she had my Christmas gift in the basement.  At this point, I was thinking, "What?"  It's not like we don't see each other on holidays.
This was my gift... two chairs that belonged to my grandma.

My grandmother lived with us until I was ten years old, and I remember her having these chairs.  I know there was at least one more, so I'm thinking that they were dining room chairs.  I believe they originally belonged to my great-great aunt, known in the family as "Nana Taylor".  Nana took in my grandmother after her mother had died, when her stepmother apparently didn't like her.  Can't understand that, my grandmother was a sweetheart!
These chairs ended up with one of my aunts.  When my grandmother moved to a nursing home, there was a bit of a "family feud" at the time over her possessions.  My dad just threw up his hands and said he didn't want anything, so my sister and I only had a few small items that belonged to her.  My aunt recently went into an Alzheimer's home, and these chairs were left after the estate sale.  My sister knew that I liked them, and got them from my cousin.

I'm pretty sure that the needlepoint was done by Nana Taylor.  She owned a needlework and stitchery shop in Tacoma, Washington.

The design on this chair was done in pettipoint.  I can only imagine how long that took!  Maybe that's why the other chair was done in regular needlepoint!
I'm thrilled to have these family heirlooms!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

I'm still here...

It's been a long time since I've posted anything to my blog.  I apologize to anyone who's still out there.  I thought I should explain the long absence.

Re-reading my last post, I realize that I sounded defeated and depressed.  And I was.  I was sick and tired of all the crud youngest daughter had/is putting us through. 

On that subject:  Youngest daughter pleaded guilty to second degree robbery.  She was sentenced yesterday.  She will spend 9 weeks on house arrest, pending all screening and a clean drug test.  She received the low end of sentencing as she had never been in trouble with the law before. The judge agreed to house arrest because of her medical issues, which, among other things, make her highly susceptible to infection (right now, our county jail has about a 50% rate of staph infections).  Of course, house arrest means I get to play warden for 2+ months.  What fun.  But at least now, we know what to expect, instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Over the last couple of months, I debated whether or not to keep blogging.  I don't want this blog to be a depressing place. I've said before that my blog is where I share my heart.  My family will always be my heart.  Without my family, friends, and most of all, my Lord, I would never have made it through the last year.

I am going to keep blogging.  Yes, I will still post about my family.  However, I am going to do my darnedest to make sure that it's not just about the crazy stuff in my life.  I am more than that!  Deep down, I really am a nice, fun-loving girl!
So, thank you for reading thus far.  I WILL be back soon.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

The month from you-know-where

I've been AWOL again.  It's not that I haven't had anything to write about.  It's simply because this was, for me, the month from @#%^!

During Memorial Day weekend, youngest daughter made the stupid decision to spend time with her dirtbag ex-boyfriend.  Ex is a drug dealer.  Long story short, she was driving him and his friends when the guys decided to try to rob another drug dealer.  The victim went to the police (which we're told is unusual, for someone planning to commit a felony to report a crime), and my daughter was arrested.  Oh, did I mention that all of this happened when she was driving MY car?  So, in addition to the arrest, my car was impounded.

The one blessing in disguise is that because of this, it brought the situation into the open. Who knows how long she would have gone behind our backs?  If they hadn't been caught, things could have escalated in a hurry.

So, can things get worse?  Yep.

We made sure youngest daughter took all of her medications with her.  It turned out that the meds were left at the police station when she was booked into jail.  She asked repeatedly, but nothing was done, and she went two days with no medications.  For most people, that wouldn't be an issue, but for her, it's life threatening.  We made the decision to bail her out for that reason.  Two days later, she was in the hospital with another round of ascites.

On top of this, we found out that the boy she was seeing at the time was ANOTHER drug dealer.  To her credit, as soon as she found out, she dumped him.  Within a couple of days, she was with a new boyfriend.  At least this guy, as far as we know, doesn't do drugs, and he doesn't have a police record.  He does, however, have two small children.  About a week ago, she decided she was going to move in with him.  She's known him a month.   We told her long ago that if she moved in with a guy, that we would pay for her medical needs, but other than that, she's on her own. 

Honestly, I didn't even try to argue with her choice.  She's one of those people who always has to learn the hard way.  I'm not expecting that this relationship will last too long.  I will say that going to jail was enough of a reality check that she finally cut all ties with those involved.  She has court dates in August and September, and will testify against the others if needed.  We're hoping that by testifying and not having a record, she won't have to serve jail time.  I'm not against being punished for a crime, don't get me wrong... I'm just scared of her being in prison with her medical needs.

"It would be so nice if something made sense for a change."  ~ Alice In Wonderland

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Friday, May 25, 2012